I’ve recently made some monumental changes in my life because I could no longer tolerate ‘just existing’ and living a life that didn’t fulfil me. I’m now in the uncomfortable stage between the ending of the old and the beginning of the new and I’m unsure what the next experience of my life will be.
My greatest lesson right now is to learn to be ok while at the threshold of what was and what will be. This is particularly challenging for me because I desire to know everything and I’m having to learn to be comfortable with not knowing. Occasionally, I start to feel fearful about the future.
I recently heard the following on a podcast by Kimberly Jones:
“OPTIMISM AND PESSIMISM ARE EQUALLY LIKELY TO BE TRUE. WHICH WILL HELP YOU LEAD A HAPPY, MORE FULFILLED LIFE?” ~ KIMBERLY JONES
Upon hearing this, I remembered that we have the power to choose our thoughts. Worrying is not going to change the outcome and there’s no point in needlessly suffering if it can be avoided.
I made a decision to take a more optimistic view of the future and worked on reducing my fear about the things I had no control over. I accepted that whatever was going to happen would happen, regardless of my thoughts about the situation, and I started to relax.
Whenever I find myself worrying about the future, I remind myself of all of the above and bring myself back to the present. The more I practise this, the less frequently those thoughts occur.
If you are in a process of change and are in a similar position to me, the key is to manage your fear and stay present in the now.
Here are 6 tips that will help ease the process:
1. Pay attention to what you absorb
When you are undergoing a transformation in your life you may be feeling particularly vulnerable. During this time, it is especially important to protect yourself against anything that will negatively impact you mentally and emotionally.
Pay extra attention to what you are absorbing. Reduce or eliminate your exposure to anything that will provoke negative, fearful thinking.
2. Take care of yourself
Prioritise your mental health and wellbeing. Do practices such as meditation and mindfulness to build your mental resiliency and help keep your thoughts under control. Where possible, avoid activities that will exacerbate your anxiety.
3. Process your emotions
Embrace whatever feelings come up about the situation and understand that it is a natural human reaction. It is vital to allow yourself to process the emotions about the change that has taken place.
Be gentle with yourself during this time. Dedicate more time for self-care. This will enable you to connect to yourself and your emotions.
Use emotional regulation techniques to keep strong emotions under control. Find a healthy outlet to channel your negative emotions (e.g. meditation, exercise, journaling, creativity etc.).
Remember, you can always talk to somebody if you need to. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and support. You never have to go through anything alone.
4. Focus on what you can control
One of the most powerful things you can do when faced with uncertainty is to focus on what you can control.
The more focus you give to things outside your control, the more power they have over you. Take back your power by identifying the things you can’t control and letting them go. Determine what you can control, and invest your energy in those areas. You may find it helpful to make a list of the things that are inside and outside of your control.
If things feel out of control, building more structure into your life can help create a sense of stability and balance. Consider establishing a routine, planning your days, and making step-by-step plans for the goals you would like to achieve.
5. Surround yourself with supportive people
Ensure that you have a support network of people who you can trust and have your best interests in mind. Make sure that you keep connecting with those people. If that’s not available to you, consider joining an online community or connecting with individuals who will support and uplift you.
6. Embrace change
Go with the flow and embrace the things you cannot control.
We fear what change can do to us, instead of thinking about what we can do because of it.
Perceive change as an opportunity to improve yourself and try out new things. Focus on the new beginning and the exciting opportunities that will become available to you now that you have more space and freedom in your life.
An exercise that can be used to view the change more positively is to list all the positive things that have happened or are now possible because of this change.
Final thoughts
Change isn’t always easy, however, it is necessary for our growth and expansion.
When we take steps outside of our comfort zone we are pushing beyond the limits of what we know and feel comfortable with. It’s by doing this that our circle of comfort widens. It’s only when we are willing to become comfortable with being uncomfortable that change and growth can really take place.
As Tony Robbins says,
“IF YOU DO WHAT YOU’VE ALWAYS DONE, YOU’LL GET WHAT YOU’VE ALWAYS GOT” ~ TONY ROBBINS
If you’re unhappy with your life, change it!
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Love,
